Nothing Matters Anymore...Except

We live in a world that caters to our every desire. We can drive down to Burger King and instantly satisfy our hunger for something to do. Or head down to a bar and dull the pain and sorta believe that there is some happiness in our lives. We can head to the movies so we can imagine for two hours that we're leading a life of adventure. Or kiss another guy or girl and imagine there's really love there - but in the we end just teasing and tearing each other up even more. We're masters of quick fixes, habits that deaden the pain of a heartless existence, only to be dumped once again on the side of the road a few hours later. And we lie to ourselves that we'll be satisfied the next time...again, and again, and again.

Why do we do what we do? I study topos and imagine being away from all of civilization in the mountains with tons of snow, sunny skies, and rugged peaks all around me to climb. I peruse through catalogs of backcountry skis online, imagining skiing up a 12,000 foot peak and then letting it all go, making fast tracks through my own fresh powder for 20 minutes of bliss. I think about kayaking down endless miles of white water in the summer. I plan trips across the continent to explore the Wrangell-St. Elias Range in Alaska or the Canadian Rockies from Alberta to Yukon. I imagine driving out to Wyoming on a whim and skiing through wonderfully precarious terrain and being able to smell my favorite scent of lodgepole and fir while dodging through and brushing their branches. And I imagine being able to share myself and all these things with a wife who'd love to do the same. But then I sometimes don't know really what I desire. I soon forget why I love to be who God has made me to be so far. I think that my desire is for creation - a woman, or the mountains, or anything intense...or even peaceful. All of my desire soon disappears, and my existence once again becomes lifeless. Running becomes a chore and no longer a joy, heading to class becomes unbearable, doing the dishes sucks, music loses its life, and I'd rather just stare at the platter of useless entertainment on the internet.

But what do I desire? Do you really think that all the men who have fought bravely for this nation endured because it was exciting? For the men of Easy Company during World War II - was it the thrill of war that kept them going? Or was it their love for one another above all else? Why do movies of heroism or the man risking everything to protect his love hit our hearts so deeply but still seem to leave us hanging and longing in the end? God has given me so many things to enjoy. C.S. Lewis even says all of the pleasures God has created are good. But when I forget that my desire is the for the perfect love for my creator and to love him in return, then everything once again is lifeless. In a relationship between a guy and a girl, is the glass of wine and the chocolate really the point? During the walk on the beach, was the walk or the beach the reason for the date? Or was it each other? How is it any different with our God? He entices us with his creation...but it's all for him, because we desire him!

In the end, I desire love. I may want to fly a plane at Mach 2 a few hundred feet above the ground, but ultimately it's because I desire to be with my God blissfully expressing part of his glory that he's painted as me. Is it simply coincidence that Christ said "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment." in Matthew 22? Or that Paul puts so much emphasis on love in I Corinthians 13?