Is desire meant to be satisfied?

Is desire meant to be satisfied? Sin…giving into small gratifications seems to have the power to deaden it – but only for a while. At first, desire is just a faint voice in the morning or at night, but we can hide it, ignore it. But slowly it becomes a persistent knife in the heart; it gnaws away at our core. And I want to scream; sometimes I wish so much that God would end my desire…or at times maybe even my existence. Yes, I know…I know that death of our hearts is far worse. And I hate sin so much! But pain of being alive seems so unbearable at times. Unsatisfied desire, intense longing is so painful. Is it meant to be satisfied? Does God satisfy the incredible longings of our hearts? How long must we wait? I’M AFRAID OF GIVING UP SIN – BECAUSE I’M AFRAID OF HAVING SUCH AN INCREDIBLE LONGING THAT GOD WILL NEVER SATISFY…NEVER GRANT RELIEF THROUGH THE SWEETNESS OF SEEING DESIRE SATISFIED!!! And what does that satisfaction look like? I feel like I have so little experience seeing my incredible hunger truly filled because I’ve never given up complete control to God – I’ve never trusted Him the way I must, the way I want. I don’t want a normal life. I want to see such incredible adventure, such incredible peace and rest, such incredible beauty, such incredible joy! My heart cannot be satisfied by what I can see, by what I can control, by what I can imagine. It wants, it needs, it is so DESPERATE for something I don’t fully understand. Music, mountains, and the beauty of the heart of a woman are so amazing because they continually remind me of this unquenchable desire. But they alone are not even close to enough! I know that somehow I want God, but my relationship with Him still at times feels so distant, so intangible. I wish I could feel, touch, see my God. I want to have a relationship with him so real, so loving it’s absolutely undeniable.


I KNOW you are there God. And I’ve grown so much these past few months, seen you in ways I’ve longed to for so long. But I want so much more. To be filled with so much love, so much compassion. To see and be wholly surrounded by beauty. I so want to be in love with you! I want to trust you and LET GO of EVERYTHING and allow you amaze me with a life I could never have imagined. I don't want to know where life will end up, where you'll take me anymore. I just want it to be totally amazing. I just wanna trust.