Update on Life

Only about two weeks left of school! The end of school always comes bittersweet though. It means finals and rushing to learn concepts that I should have earlier during the semester. Freedom from engineering (hehe) only comes after tons of hard studying for hours on end. After school, I'll be working in Houghton full time for two weeks at my computer support job for Michigan Tech trying to finish up some projects I've been working on during the semester. Then I'll be heading downstate Michigan after that for a weekend to hang out with the family, which'll be fun. Back to the Upper Peninsula for one more week to backpack and have a reunion with Yellowstone Summer Project people and then see Melinda get married! Then it'll be ten more days to drive out West, do some backpacking and see people in either Montana, Wyoming, Colorado or all of 'em. And then I start firefighting for the rest of the summer out in Idaho! Oh...and maybe more exciting: to see Aaron Stanski, one of the coolest guys on the planet, get married in August!

Freedom??

Real life...true freedom comes from discipline when our desire is to pursue our God. From the beginning of time, we've mistrusted our creator. We've believed that somehow, just maybe, even after time and time again yielding to the muck of our physical desires that following the easy route this time will bring us what we truly desire. Our enemy throws at us lies and we so easily oblige -- next time, we say. I can resist...maybe it'll even be a bit easier to resist...next time. I'm already in the muck anyway - what's yielding one more time? And even when we have become so disgusted with the muck, our enemy throws us more lies. And we believe them -- trying to be free of the muck is impossible, the process is hell, and there's even less life even if we were to be free. No point...so why try? It's almost as if we were completely surrounded by hopelessness, swimming in the murky waters of our enemy, unable to escape or see anything better. Even when we have the opportunity to call out to our God to be rescued, we don't. We believe it's hopeless...and maybe even that the muck is really better than the freedom anyway. We forget our true desires and the love of our creator. For me, to climb, camp, hike, ski, sled, read, write. And most of all to be with my God. But every time I'm tested God gives me a chance to once again to cry out to Him to be rescued from my enemy and to take a step to trust him. Maybe not yet to fully believe that true life and freedom are on the other side. Maybe not yet to fully believe that the process of freedom, life, and resisting what feels easy or good is possible. But until we let go, until we trust that there is something far better and it is attainable because of our God, we'll never know.

If our desire is for God, freedom and life will come through taking the step towards our greatest desire for our creator while resisting and leaving behind the strings that snare us. We must remember though we're in a fight, a brutal battle that we cannot handle alone. But we also must remember that we too must fight. How often do I forget to ask for my God give me strength or to rescue me and I try to take the fight into my own hands only to fail. Or when I do feel the freedom once again when he does come for me only to let down my guard...and fail once again. It must be both.

The process to freedom will be messy. We will fall often along the path. But I believe
it will come if we choose to pursue our creator with all of our heart.